4th day into the new year..

my watch reads 1.4FR. looks like april’s fool to me.

i am not very the happy today. shed quite a bit of tears, was told i am lost, i feel lost and then i also started questioning my own self worth.

you know.. everyone says im creative. i think that is too big a hat to wear. i am not, and i don’t want to be. it is hard living up to people’s expectations.

as much as i want to quit, my mind says i shouldn’t be a quitter. i think about my life now and i think it is in such a mess. I cannot be clear in the direction that I want to move towards to.. and that same situation seemed to repeat itself everywhere.

like a multiple slaps in my face, real hard.

indecisiveness. i’m beginning to hate myself for that. i really need some confidence booster now.

the coming weekend really sucks. i got to be back in the office tomorrow at 10am, and then off to the stores to do some checking.. and then work on my presentation decks for monday’s meeting. and there’s the coordination of the big event that’s coming up that requires DAILY reporting. and the monthly reports to churn after a month’s end.

all this shit, and i ask myself what i am exactly working for. PEANUTS.

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