ever since the new not-so-new-anymore job, i feel that my life has taken a dip and there hasn’t been as much cheer in my life. there were lesser laughters, less fun and it had really became monotonous. most of the days is just work and home for me now. stepping into orchard road is becoming a rarity.

just yesterday, michelle told me the umpteen time in the past few months that it’s quite unhealthy and i should really consider my job if it’s eating into my life. i haven’t seen her in months when we used to have lunch/dinner dates at least once or twice each month.

while i think i am happy on the job (learning stuff, having challenges and nice colleagues), i am beginning to realise that maybe, i am not happy at all. i live in a constant fear, frantically thinking about my work, freaking about where there will be a bomb (read: scolding from boss) landing on me anytime soon. in the hours not in the office, i will think and fret if there is anything i have left undone. i have not realised that i am now more short-tempered, snapping more often at people. even wei has commented that i seemed to be a different person now.

i just went to check on my stats for my livejournal. there has been an extreme dip as well. i think facts are slapping in my face that my life ain’t what it used to be. the moment i had internet access in kl 2 days ago, my first reaction was to log on and check my work emails. on the night train back to singapore, i was planning about my calendar for the coming december and next year. it’s scary. work is really eating me up unconsciously, and its really not what i want.

should i seriously reconsider moving on to somewhere else where my work isnt eating my life away.. or should i really learn to let go my job and not fret so much?

i need some thinking time.

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