i just celebrated my birthday yesterday and i was feeling happy and blessed about everything that i have and the people around me and thinking the weekend is just gonna be great…

until the husband broke the news while he was accompanying me for my haircut this morning.

i mean, i seriously am very thankful for his thoughtfulness for holding the news so that i can celebrate my birthday happily and him bearing all the bad news alone and keeping it to himself. it must have been really hard for him.

the baby is at 12 weeks and day 5 today. i was so looking forward for next week to come along so that i can officially announce about the pregnancy.

guess its not meant to be. hubby told me he got a call from my gynae 2 days ago that the results of the oscar aint looking good. the baby is at a high risk of having a chromosomal defect. and its 1 in 17?!

he went on to explain what are my option, but at that point in time.. i couldnt hear anything anymore. my world was spinning and any thoughts of being blessed and happy went out like a light immediately. i was in disbelief and kept walking. i didnt know how to react so i just continue walking to the salon to get my haircut. the hubby silent beside me.

i just wanted to cry right there and then. my eyes were stinging, my nose turned red. i didnt know how to feel. how could it have happened? i thought i was relatively young and the chances are low. but remembering the ultra sound, i did detect the abnormal big clear space in the spine and even asked the sonographer about it.

i’m still numb at this point in time, trying very hard to accept the reality. meanwhile, i’m being the hermit crab hiding in my room away from baby and everyone else. i really needed to be alone to sort out my thoughts. and the next steps. and put that call to my doc soon.