End of year.

i have been tardy about updating here, and am especially guilty that the posts of my baby is getting lesser and lesser. and before i know it, the year is coming to an end!

as i think back about the year went by, its easy to conclude that i haven’t done much for the year and it seems that i haven’t achieved much because life seems same old, same old.

BUT! i thought harder and then maybe, i think im just a little too hard on myself. This year, i survived through 9 10 months of pregnancy and gave birth to baby jerry. and i think i can claim a little wee bit of credit that i haven’t killed him yet despite feeling frustrated on many counts (i confess that i am not very maternal!), and there are, in fact, many things to be thankful for, for the year that is soon passing us by.

some of which are… (1) having a wonderful year of marriage. sure, there are ups and downs but i think its all part and parcel of the growing process and we have grown together and survived a few milestones together, and that in itself is worth celebrating! i have to be especially thankful that its been rather smooth sailing and i have mostly gotten things my way (yes, i am spoiled by the husband) and my in-laws has been especially accommodating!

(2) having great family support. its true that when you have a kid in the household, it brings people together. i saw more of my brother these days as he plays with jerry in the mornings and evenings (instead of heading straight back to his room like he usually would) and the family heads out more often for meals together when we have nothing on over the weekends. my mum has been a great help being the main caretaker of jerry and i truly salute her for her patience sometimes, because it can get pretty unnerving looking after an active baby who can’t quite communicate at all for at least 12-16 hours daily, and on top of that, managing all the household chores and still cook fantastic and yummy dinner for the family. i’m not sure i could manage that. after 4 months of maternity leave, i was actually quite happy that i have another outlet to focus on and my days do not just revolve around the baby, milk feeds, being a cow, washing bottles and changing diapers.

(3) having my family members all with me. this year has been a year of hospital scares and in the past 2 months alone.. i have been scared shitless with the comas that my grandma is slipping into so often, and the falls that we are so afraid of for the old folks. in fact, just 2 days ago, my grandma was admitted again and my mum is away visiting her today. but, i am thankful that each time, they have survived. as one grows older, i guess its inevitable that the people around you grows older too and ails and sickness are very much a part of life that everyone has to go through. i am grateful for the times i get to spend time with them this year and that they are still, very much a part of my life.

(4) lastly, having my boy grow healthily. there has been a lot of joy and smiles and it is just amazing to watch him grow everyday. even though there are many days where i wished that i was still leading my ‘carefree’ lifestyle, i still love him loads.

i have been thinking quite a bit lately and realized that i have been restless because i feel stagnant in my life, and am mostly very tired from hectic work schedules. in 2012, i want to set aside time and take up courses and ‘upgrade’ myself in one way or another, so that i can grow mentally and start doing things that i love, and set out to achieve the small goals that i have been dreaming for a while now.

so yes, i hope you have a great year too and in 2012, i wish everyone happiness, love and fantastic year ahead!

XOXO