I woke up this morning to some messages that I wish I didn’t see.

my dear friend lost the battle to cancer early this morning.


I feel numb. I wish he didn’t have to go so soon,but I know he got a lot more than he had bargained for (doc said 6 months but he got more than a year) and we even shared some drinks and chats over the period of time when he was ill. he even met jerry while we hung out. I could feel his pain when I saw him the last time at the hospital. he lost so much weight, had sunken skin, and barely recognisable. although still positive, I could feel his fighting spirit waning. and I know, its hard to stay on positive for such extended period of time. he has already done the best be could, and I wish I could take away his pain when I saw a picture of him hooked to the dialysis machine last week.


now, I know he is pain free. and I have with me something invaluable.. all the memories that we shared together during the retreats we went together, the last minute bangkok trip for work in my last job, the drinks sessions and chill out moments together with Jen and his wife, the laughter we shared, even in the hospital. all those are etched in my head. he is also the one that first bought me food at my current favourite lok lok store in jb leading to discovery and addiction to it.


when I last spoke to him, we made a pact to see him at home and not the void deck. its not going to come true anymore. and I didn’t even get to visit like I said I would in my message. 


good bye my friend. you’ll always be remembered. always.