i must have looked most perculiar

sitting in a salon with a netbook, typing and surfing away. for the record, i never seen anyone do it before. do tell me if u have seen before!

you know, sometimes, i don’t really know who i am, or what people think who i am.

sitting here today, in silence, quietly waiting for my hair to be done and hearing all the different sounds and conversations of the people around me.

i cannot help but eavesdrop on the conversation by the side. this girl has come to have her hair set for a wedding. and hearing her life experiences about marriage, husband, children, pregnancy, work, make up, hair, and little tidbits of her life, i feel like an alien.

a total alien.

and we are of the same age, sitting in a salon. side by side. and yet, i see a huge contrast between the 2 of us.

i hardly breathed a word to my stylist, just playing my games, surfing away on my netbook, playing with my mobile phone and keeping my lips sealed the entire time. not willing to even open my mouth a strike a conversation.

i might shock people saying what i am going to say next – i am not a good “conversationalist”, and in times like that, i usually do not talk. i clammed up and act like the pearl in an oyster.

but the girl by the side, bubbly, slightly pump, looking blissful and happy. even her complaints about her husband were done with a hint of humour.

growing up in the same city/country, its interesting to note how different life has lead us. 2 strangers, 2 distinct personalities.

i sometimes do wonder. does the decisions made when you are a kid impact your whole life? like the first handshake in a new class in school. is that a start of a decision of how your life would lead down? because from that handshake on, your lives will impact each other. the friends u make or the people that u meet mould you to be what you are eventually, lest other influences like education and work and of cos, family.

i do observe that the friends around me lead similar lives like me. and i observe other groups of friends sharing similar values in lives as well. it’s like the saying – birds of the same feather flock together.

i’m in a weird thinking mood while setting my foot in the salon. when was the last time i did something to my hair? i hardly could remember. i think it was when my hair was short. shoulder length short.

sometimes, i wish there was someone, or a greater being out there telling me if i have been a good kid, done good in life and am going in the correct direction.

it’s like yearning for acceptance for being who i am.

strange me. or not? do you feel the same way as i do?

p.s. it was meant to be a secret that i am at a salon, because i wanted to throw my baby a surprise when he comes back next week. but i guess, my thoughts just had to interrupt and i wanted to pen this down in public.