Today is such a momentous day. It marks jerry’s first day of school/childcare. It is also an extremely emotional day for me, which I hadn’t expected I would feel this way.

Come to think of it, I spent quite a bit of effort in prepping for his big day, from putting him on wait list, to bugging the schools in giving me a slot, to getting all the enrollment papers done, buying his uniform, his school bag, buying new toiletries/towels etc to be used in the school, ironing on his name labels on everything to packing his bag last night. It was a tedious process, but nothing quite prepared me for the sense of loss I felt.

No. You didn’t read me wrong. Sense of loss, indeed.

The husband woke bright and early to head home to change before popping back and wake both the kiddo and me. He changed the kid into his uniform while I prepped myself to head out. The husband had a bit of problem though. The kid don’t usually wake that early, and it took him a while to freshen himself up, changed his diaper and let me brush his teeth. It took a lot of coaxing on my part and I think the cold water in the morning puts him off too. Once done, we gave the kid his brand new Thomas and friends bag, his brand new water bottle and off he went, happy as a lark. I guess it helped that he adores his bag and refuse to let it out of his sight, no matter what.

we arrived early enough to the free play sessions of song and exercise, and after breakfast, they gathered for the national anthem! I was mighty impressed with this cute little girl that looked not much older than jerry, but led all the children in singing the national anthem, and the pledge in BOTH English and mandarin. Wow. Blew my socks off. They broke off into the various classes after that.

The teachers were all very helpful and explained to us every single procedure/event that was going to happen, and handled all our questions with patience.

When the class started, jerry was, unfortunately not able to follow through. He just went around doing his own things, curious with the environment, and playing with all the toys he saw. Der wanted him to follow and kept telling jerry to put down the toys, but the teachers encourage him to play and told us that it’s good he is curious about his environment and that at least he wasn’t crying to leave. Assimilation through play. That’s the strategy I think the teachers are adopting.

Here’s jerry with a girl that joined last week. She’s really cute! There were also 2 other pairs of twins in the class so it was quite interesting to watch the kids. I was also very impressed that the centre teachers all knew jerry by his name the moment they saw him, and they all knew he was the new kid on the block, even though they were not his class teachers.

he sat and stayed around the same spot and kept going at the toys. We hung around for a bit and when one of the teachers was playing with him, we decided its time we snuck out.

We had the full intention of letting him stay there the whole day, but was advised against by the teachers. They recommended that we start with half a day for today, and slowly drag the hours each day for the next few days. The thankful thing was that I’m still on maternity leave so I could afford the time to hang around everyday. So we were told to pop back at 12 noon before the nap time, so that he doesn’t have to sleep in a brand new environment.

The husband & me had a peaceful breakfast at the coffee shop sans kids. Kinda miss the good old times when it was just the 2 of us, because life can really get a bit hectic with the kiddos. Nonetheless, we are very thankful for all the joys that they have brought us thus far, and the husband have been telling me each day how much he loves our son. Heh! (I giggled in my mind thinking about the times he shouted in frustration and anger… But decided not to remind him).

We returned at noon and peeped from a corner, watching jerry playing in his class, going for his bath, emerging from his bath looking fresh… And oops! He suddenly spotted me and broke into hugggggge, wide grins and shouted for me.

He promptly ran towards me, with his bag in tow (he was playing with his trolley bag after his bath – told ya he adores it) and screamed for daddy and me. I caught up with the teacher on his progress, he ate well, finished his portion of food, didn’t cry (YAY!), but did whimper a bit for a really short while before he was distracted by more toys. I guess that means very good progress for the day!

First reward for being a brave kid – he hung out at the playground for a while before heading home. Back home, I gave him a bottle of milk and he climbed into my mum’s bed (?!) and crashed out there in less than 5 mins. So weird! He doesn’t usually sleep there.

but guess what? I’m not complaining. No nap battles to fight!

In the evening, we rounded up both kids for a quick visit at our house to check on the renovation progress and popped by macs for some ice cream!

Looking a happy kid!

The husb even took jerry out for some skate scooter play, to test the skate scooter that we got for his birthday yesterday.

So, first day in childcare done! I reckon its a good achievement. No tears at all (from mummy/kid) to mark the day.

As for me, the feeling of loss. I haven’t expected that I would feel this way. For 2 years now, I had (almost) total control on my son. What he’ll be exposed to, what he learns, what he eats/wears/drink/play etc but as he was in the school this morning… I realized, I’m losing the control! It’s almost felt like I’m losing someone in the relationship and couldn’t do anything about it because it’s only the correct thing to do. I couldn’t find any words that could describe my thoughts and feelings more aptly. I could only tell myself to trust the teachers (who were only strangers this morning) to help care for and teach jerry the necessary and hope that he would excel under their care.

I definitely need to learn about losing that grip on the child! Gosh, I sound like quite the control freak!

Looking forward to day 2!

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