random thoughts. and also about the boy.

uh no. you know.. the whole bit of the pregnancy process is a very very steep learning curve.

there’s just so much to learn/read about pregnancy, the birthing process, nutrition, baby care, baby needs and so much so much more. i realised that i am learning new things daily and there is just so much more out there. google is like my pregnancy dictionary right from the start, even the various clinics and gynaes choices out there freak you out. day in day out, i try to cramp in as much additional information i can into my brain about the whole pregnancy process.. there are other stuff like training your baby, parenting methods and what nots at the back of your mind bugging you.

i have come to realise that.. everyone just have different school of thoughts, and it is ever so easy to come into a conflict from differing views on how one would view things or situations. very interesting, but also very stressful for me, or that i reckon.

most of the time, i just state my stand and move on.. i mean.. at least im truthful about how i feel!

but i think i missed out one big chunk of the equation here. i neglected the boy! every day, i’ll share bits of information about the baby or something that i just learnt/read about with him. information about slings/carriers/cribs and what nots. or something that my colleague/friend has told me about.

today, i told the hubby that i spent some time today shopping online. i told him i bought bermudas and all.. and he was like.. really?! where did you buy them from? he sounded really excited for a bit, before the next question came.. is it for me?

uh.. no. i could feel the disappointment in his tone and the sore look on his face. of cos, he went on to rant about how i didn’t even buy him a birthday present (i didn’t know what to buy and that he had everything he needed), and that he was complaining that everything IS about the baby these days. i no longer online shop and buy stuff for him anyway.

ahhhhh.. makes me super guilty. so i decided to blog this down and remind me myself that i had to put more effort in caring for his tender heart as well, and be well aware of his feelings in the future.

knocking out. i almost didnt sleep a wink last night when i only managed to fall asleep after 2am and waking up 4 times in the middle of the night, each time taking more than 40mins to fall back into dreamland. long day tomorrow. wish me luck.