Do you hate me too? The ‘skinny’ me, i mean.

(source)

I get the above a lot. And let me get that context right. People usually say that to me because…
#1 – I eat so much but still so skinny. (For those who don’t know me IRL,  i really really really eat a lot.  Enough to scare away most guys and freak all girls out)
#2 – I have 2 kids and am still so skinny. (i get this alot!)
#3 – you never exercise and you are still so skinny.

I hope I’m not that unpopular that people hate for everything,  but I think most of my haters fall into the above categories (or so, I think).

I’m probably going to generate more haters by saying this – I’m really not that skinny.

That said, in this post.. I’m gonna share about why I am possibly “so skinny” and maybe at the end of the post, you can walk away with some tips on how you can be a little more trim.

So, to set the stage right… I would have to tell you a little history of me, so bear with me.

By nature, I’m generally an active person. When i was much younger, hyperactive is a daily curse word for me. I run about all the time, get hyped up easily and move faster than most folks. I would choose to walk if the distance is walkable rather than take a bus. I don’t hop on to a cab unnecessarily, only in situations where I’m in a rush and cab would give me a faster travel time, or when the cab fare is claimable (in the event of work). I try to take public transport all the time and as a result, chalk up a lot of ‘workout’ in the process of it. You’ll be surprised but every single bit of your lifestyle habits would help.

I used to be a competitive athlete.  I used to excel in all segments – run short/long distances, jump, throws etc. I trained in harsh conditions for more than 8 years of my life, clocked in more eca hours than anyone else in school (competitive table tennis, uniform groups (brownie and St. Johns), gymnastics, Chinese dance and often have teachers in meetings to discuss and agree which eca I should represent on the days they clash or on special days where there is conflict of interest. E.g. cross countries – an athlete should definitely run, but as a st John… I have to fulfill my first aid duties and for years.. I struggled on with my double responsibilities roles on this very day. The reason why I have to mention this.. is not to show off, but to tell you that through all that, i became physically quite fit and I have a built  a relatively strong core. This is done ever since I was a kid and it is over a period of many years and it is easier for me to maintain the status than to build it all up from scratch as an adult.  As a result of this, I have quite a lot of muscles mass and in turn, i have high metabolism rate that help burns all the food that i eat (I wrote about metabolism rate in my earlier ushape post).

With that, I am going to dish out a few tips of how you can possibly stay skinny or trim.. or rather, just sharing with everyone how I do it.

I have a goal and think about it all the time. I tell people about it all the time too. Goals changes all the time but the day i became a mum, my life goal for the next few years is to stay a yummy mummy. I have seen a lot of women going through childbirth and turning mummy, and in turn, became a turning point in their lives. They focus all on their babies and lose themselves or feel it didn’t matter anymore. Or maybe, sink into depression with the additional weight and don’t quite know what to do. (Ok, i think I have more haters now) I think that’s where i am slightly different – I put more emphasis on myself because I need to – in order not to lose myself. Being a mother expands my role, but fundamentally don’t quite change me as a person, and my values still stays so I need to focus on my own wellbeing,  health and mental health. Having the goal helps keep me focus, on track and have something to work towards to. As such, it influences the every single action in my daily life. It shapes me as who I want to be and impacts every action I take. For example, on the days where i feel lazy and want to cab home, i think about the various options available and the goal helps keep me on track. I usually end up taking the train.

The point about telling everyone about your goal (not whining about it please) is important – are you wondering why? Because when the word is out, you get more conscious about sticking to it than swallowing your words.  Because when the word is out, you have friends and family prodding you on or reminding you to stay on track when you veer from track. My husband is very good at this. He never fails to remind me when I eat too much or start snacking or when I am turning slightly pudgy. I don’t take offense because I know he meant to help me and that it is because I keep reminding him and saying I want to be a yummy mummy. Which brings me to the point about whining about a goal versus telling people your goal. It’s a thin line. Thing is, you cannot be all talk and no action because people will get frustrated when you keep ‘whining’ and do nothing and expect things to happen. That’s when people wouldn’t bother because no one can help you when you don’t want to help yourself.  ‘Nuff said right?

Stick to the goal. Make it the basis for consideration with every decision you make.  You’ll find that it makes a difference because every single deliberate move goes a long way. You’ll find making decision is easier based on your goal. You’ll find that.. soon, it becomes a norm and you can see the pattern of which are the areas you should weed out in your life to work towards the goal.

I breastfeed. The hard way even. While the intention to breastfeed is meant to be done with the intention of doing the child good, i am still hanging onto it at 16 months because I feel it do me good as well. I must admit it is a freaking tiring affair. I don’t know how many times I fell asleep while expressing milk. I wake up earlier than anyone in the household for the sake of expressing milk and i need to spend at least 30-45 mins at it each time.  It’s mad tedious and i often wish I am in bed with everyone else instead or have the extra time to get other chores done, but I choose to plough on knowing that it does help me keep in shape. I can feel that the body is burning the calories faster from the rate of which I get hungry. It is an option i choose to take, because it is in line with my goal.

Exercise. More often than not, I get the question – do you workout? And my answer is NO. When i say no, I really mean that I don’t have the time to schedule regular workouts. I don’t have a workout regime that i subject myself to anymore. I don’t really have the time – i work full time, i am a mom of 2 toddlers, i blog, attend events, I spend time with the kids, I don’t have a helper and i really really can’t do it all. Exercise is last on my mind, and each day, i crash in bed faster than I can say ‘exercise’. But, on the good days where the kids sleep a little earlier, I get down to work – challenging the husband on sets of 60secs planks, workout on the ushape, or do ab exercises but only on the days where i have energy left. I sometimes also plank when i put jerry into bed. He wants me in the room with him (my presence soothe him), so i make use of the time in the dark to plank and also to keep myself awake. These days, i also have the u shape to make my life a little less guilty. I do whatever I can but don’t trash myself when I fail to do so.. because to me, living each day happy is more important than anything. My life motto is life is all about being happy! But remember, because of my background all these years, i have a higher metabolism rate so if you haven’t been exercising much, i recommend that you try building some muscles and maintain them.. they really do go a long way. 

Oh, also on the part where the husband and me have no help, which means… we both do it all. With so much house chores and 2 active toddlers to chase down all the time, i think that is really what makes our exercise regime. Just yesterday, der & i was at a wedding and we had such a hard time reeling in our 2 kids… we both woke up with sore biceps this morning. I think a lot of the wedding guests were laughing at us handling the monkeys. They really are, quite a handful.

Someone mentioned about confinement lady in one of the comments, so I thought i’ll add it in here as well. I didn’t have a confinement lady as well, for both my child births. Sure, maybe it means that I don’t get to rest as much, but it also means that the body is constantly ‘working’ to stay trim. Surely it beats lying down in bed all day?

The key to losing weight is actually burning more than what you eat daily. If you think about that, there is seriously only 2 options. Workout more to burn the calories or eat less (but still healthily), which bring me to the next point.

Food – you are what you eat. You would be thinking that I should be the last person to say this because I eat so much in quantity but I have to say, what you choose to put into your mouth makes a difference. Close friends would know that I do not do fast food at all. The only fast food I would consider taking is mos burger and even so, I eat them on very rare occasions. I don’t snack at all – no snacks on my office table. I don’t have the habit of snacking. If I really do, it will only be chocolates because chocolates makes me happy. I do not take carbonated drinks at all unless that’s my only option available and i need to drink. I drink plain water on most days and if I’m outside, I’ll take green tea or oolong tea or Chinese tea. Everything else is really too sweet for me and my tongue cannot take it. I do occasionally go for Starbucks when I feel like it but those occasions are not frequent unless I’m travelling. I’m also huge on home cooked food and i eat them everyday. What I am trying to say is.. what you choose to eat makes an impact so think again when you choose what you eat. Of cos, you don’t need to cut them all out. Eat in moderation and just reduce the amount for the seemingly unhealthy stuff.

Just for the record, my mum has grown quite fat post her 40s and to prevent me from going down the same path, she restricts what i eat on a daily basis when i used to stay with her. Since my teens, she restricts me to half a bowl of rice at night for dinner. I cannot take anything more. No starchy rice but I’m free to finish up the vegetables or meat so I’m gonna tell you to try to reduce your carbo intake at night since your activity level would be low throughout the night. Load on the vegetables and protein, your body needs it and take the carbo in the day where you have a higher chance to burn them through your daily activities.

Having the discipline. It’s really the key to everything. I know of friends who really make an effort, is very disciplined and they get to achieve what they set out for. It is what makes or breaks the deal. Heard of the saying 没有丑女人, 只有懒女 (there is no ugly women, only lazy women)? It’s true. If you really need to lose some weight, set out some achievable goals and inch towards them slowly. Track your progress and adapt the techniques if you think they are not working. I haven’t seen anyone with the discipline fail, so nothing is really impossible when you set your mind to it.

Know your body. If you really want to know the truth, i have quite a bulgy tummy. Its been with me since i was 17 years old and i can’t shed it no matter what. So, if i can’t shed it, i hide it. I learn to choose my clothes wisely, choosing those that can hide my tummy. Usually those are are loose at the waist, or have some other louder design somewhere else to draw attention away from my tummy. Or I layer my clothes, so you can’t quite seeeee….! It’s a fashion trick that i use and i find it most helpful. On top of that, i suck in my tummy quite a bit, so much so.. i think i do have abs muscles because of it… but they are being covered with a even thicker layer of flabs!

I hope what i have shared would shed some light as to why i might seem skinny even though i’m really not (I don’t have stick thin legs, or skinny arms) and maybe would help enlighten you on how you might want to go about planning out a goal to work towards to. But i still maintain the notion that happiness is key. One should really be comfortable in your own skin, and like i once shared on my facebook page.. “Self worth is so vital to happiness. If you don’t feel good about you, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.”

Whatever you do.. listen to your body. You can push it a little harder each time, but don’t try to go from zero to a hundred. It doesn’t work that way. Progressive is key. Or if you aren’t sure what you really have to do, get professional help through exercise. Do it the healthy way. I never believe in pills or slimming centres. They would also tell you to watch what you eat as well, so what you put into your mouth really is the crux. And save all those money. Its better to spend  the money to buy a yoga mat or a set of exercise outfit to exercise with than to contribute more media money to those slimming ads.

With all that said, can i say that its really stressful for me when every time someone sees me and they tell me.. “you lost weight again!” or “you are so skinny!”. While some merely meant it as a conversation starter, I think there are some serious haters out there too because some of them just keep harping on it! So here, if you are a hater and you want to harp about me being skinny, please go channel that energy onto some serious exercise and lose some weight instead.

Thank you very much.

I know i probably garnered a few more haters after this post.

P.s. do you have a similar experience as me? Or something dramatically and diversely different? I would love to hear anyone’s story too!

P.s.s. please do not leave me any hate comments. Channel that energy into exercise ok? (because anyway, it wouldn’t bother me..)