irritable weekend

this is the only weekend i had with wei that wasnt spent mugging for his projects in months. yet, i cant say im extremely happy or that it’s been extremely enjoyable.

one women had to spoil everything for me. she wrecked my nerves every single time she opened her mouth in the last 2 days. it made me wanna shout and felt like slapping her (so much!). i did not, of cos. it wasnt right, and i dont think i’ll ever do it. but feeling so strongly abt doing that says something, isnt it? i think my blood pressure has definitely increased in the last 2 days. i tried hard to maintain my cool. really. but, i just couldnt. she crossed my threshold in many months, once again.

i stomped into bed on sat night. and woke on sunday morning to pee and be irritated by her first thing in the morning. tried to sleep it off, but got irritated once again when i went to pee (again!). and i wondered hard why i seemed to have so much pee this morning. argh!

i am extremely unhappy and frustrated. but at the same time, i felt bad in putting wei in such an awkward situation. i didnt mean to. i tried my best to be nice and cordial, but what am i to do when i really really cannot stand it further? this problem NEVER seems to go away. after 6 years, it’s still plaguing me. if only someone could show me the way, tell me the solution and ease my frustrations.

this is definitely turning me into a grumpy girl. maybe a irritable one too.

that aside, i lost quite a bit of money on number ball on sat nite. i seriously dont know what is wrong with me. maybe the irritation spoils everything for me on a game of patience and observation. but then again, the opponents are really good too. i just didnt expect to lose that much.

i had a little retail therapy today. i couldnt afford more cos its end month and the paycheck havent arrived yet. the movie flightplan was the only thing that could get everything outta my mind for nearly 2 hrs. and i truely enjoyed the movie. got me really engaged and almost moved me to tears. almost cos im not one that usually tear in cinemas/when watching shows.

wei now drives a black hyundai coupe tuscany. 🙁 not our idea of a car and defnitely not our choice. it actually wasnt even a choice, but wei had to change his car. i seriously miss the corolla, just 1 day after it’s gone. i inputted my views on the matter, but i seriously dont have much say since im not part of the family. and given the added burden on wei’s financials, i am (so) worried about my own future, our future.

everything that happens will affect the course of another, and i cant see any sunshine out of the senario. what am i to do?

the future looks even bleaker now.