some kind of a friend

before raf left for iraq, i made a pact with him to send him emails and photo updates frequently to keep him slightly more sane while he’s constantly on the ship to iraq for the peace making mission.

i kept my promise for only a week.

he came back and sorta retorted at me, for not keeping to my promise even though he has been a really sweet pal during the 4 months, checking on me periodically. he actually called me 3 times from iraq on the day of my ligament op and the consecutive days after, just to check i’m ok and doing great.

i was quick to jump into my defenses and mentioned that life has been hard for me, ever since i tore my ligament, went through the op, surviving on crutches and my meagre savings after and struggling to look for a job while desperately trying to recover by daily physio sessions at the hospitals which are extremely financially draining and getting into a new job, trying to adapt in a new environment and keeping with the demands that are a lot more overwhelming as compared to the last job.

of cos, he didnt know the bitterness that i felt and the internal battles i fought. not many people knew even. i think i tried very hard to portray a “im ok, cool” look, even though there were many nights where i cried in fear to wei, sobbing myself to sleep and the frustrations i felt for not being so agile.

he was a little shocked when i suddenly let out my whole string of grouses. i didnt really meant to, but i really really tried to keep up my promises and did periodically send him emails, just without the pictures.

but now, as i pondered over it during the weekend. i think i havent been a great friend to many, not just him alone.

i’m sorry my friends. i think i have neglected many of u out there, being busy with my own life and struggling to achieve my own goals and have become selfish in some ways without realising it. no excuses no matter what. i will try to make it for it soon.