friends

sometime last week during dinner. wei exclaimed,”you have friends in all the companies that i have worked in, going to work for and even companies that has asked me for an interview!”

the statement stems from a discussion on company S and company A. One of them offered wei a job, the other skipped the rounds of interview and asked him for the final interview instead. it so happens that i have friends working in both of them.

wei went on to list all my friends in the companies that he was once working for, even though i couldn’t recall them off my mind.

– speechless –

and yes. he’s quite right. i always tell wei,”don’t try to be funny outside when im not around, cos i have spies all over the island looking out for you.”

*giggles*

no no. it’s not a threat. it’s the truth. there was once when he had gastric pains and have difficulty walking/standing up straight. his then boss (a guy and they are about the same age) held him and helped him to walk. a friend of mine happened to drive past and msged me that he saw wei holding hands with a guy, and even asked if we are still together.

there were other times when wei was in female company and were spotted by friends and promptly informed me. it sure caused a lot of puzzlement in wei’s life cos he is always shocked to find that i know where he is exactly at the very moment when i call to “spot check”.

and so, the conclusion is i have many friends. but, i dont feel friends-rich at all. what’s the real definition of friends?

does it sound right to call someone whom you havent met for the last 4 months your best friend? even though the 2 of us are staying barely 2km away from each other, leading totally different lifestyles and have differing views on many matters? and she doesnt seemed to have any time for meet up at all? but when any major events happens in your life or any deepest secrets that you might have, you never hesitates to write her an email or drop her a sms to tell her about it? sometimes, i wonder if it’s a one-sided affair.

or would it sound right if i call people whom i have been meeting regularly my good friends even though i hardly share as much of my life with?

i don’t know what led me into thinking all that. sometimes, i feel outcast even though i try to fit into certain circles. other times, i’m totally at ease with others. there are also occasions when i feel people hate me even. How can one differentiates between the truth and the fake, and unmask the masks people are wearing?

i am aloof in reality. like i once told wendy, i am not one who can feel at ease talking to total strangers and be friendly with them immediately. i am also very judgmental, if i dont like you, i wont even attempt to talk. and it would be really hard to get me to talk without getting “suaned” by me first. sarcastic me. is that why i feel as if i dont have friends? me shutting myself from everyone’s world?

sigh. the puzzling mystery of ant’s terminated mobile line is getting at me still. i haven’t heard from him at all.

———–

ok. before u start posting comments and declaring that you are my friend, i have to say i do have some really good friends lurking around, reading my blog and keeping up with my progress quietly. there are others who had had me in their thoughts, but as life has it, our timing has been bad and we weren’t able to meet up.. or like they are really far away. *waves to daisie*

ok. gotta get ready to head out.