Up in the air.

[typed on the plane journey from sing to bkk]

I am penning this down at thousands of feet high up in the air. Usually, I will be really happy going on a trip, filled with excitement, but I am not feeling like that now.

Started reading the scrap book that Soo Leng made for me after I boarded the plane. It was a simple but very pretty thing. Although there aren’t many pictures (I held hostages of them), but it’s so nicely done up and I’m so impressed!

Kinda funny going through it as it reveals my little milestones in the company. My first birthday celebrations… the retreats and the overseas trips etc. Funny how it seems to be a long journey, but yet, it is only a short 2.5 years.

When I started reading my MA’s message (Victoria) for me, tears trickled down my face. I never quite knew that I made such an impact in the short 3 weeks. My eyes are sore right this moment because a lot of the other messages are BIG killer! Wah! Maybe its due to the fact that I’m all alone on board the plane, and those words trigger many many memories of mine…

Many words shouted out at me across the various pages – spunk, can-do attitude, creative, bubbly, cheery, caring and helpful. Wah… I didn’t know I have so many good points! But Wendy sure hit a raw nerve. She says I’m delusional of my good traits.

Seriously, I really think I am always not good enough.

Anyhow, it’s really fun reading those messages (yes, even though I’m suffering puffy eyes now) and here’s some of my replies to them (even tho some of them may never get to read it!).

Agnes: yeah, literally MAD RUSH. Now, I’ll be doing the same thing with your cousin and yap, I will keep calling you out cos I have no friends (wahahha!)

Victoria: WHY DIDN’T YOU COME IN EARLIER?! I didn’t know I’ll have someone to make fun of… else I would have considered not tendering you know?! Anyhow, we still met and well, I declare us friends! Friends must treat each other for lunch ok?!

Virg: Yeah. I really grew. Grew older and rounder/fatter! (*sob*)

Joanne: hahaha. Maybe everyone is dying to get the noisy cherie out (literally disturbing everyone everyday!)

Tay jie: Yeah. Too bad my “knowing” looks didn’t stop you from popping by the snack station! Are you missing it already since the “snack station” is being “dismantled” for the walkway?

Ju: You might never know this, but I really really worked very hard to meet your expectations. I fought really hard to stay in the job (definitely easier to call it quits!) and I had to keep psyching myself that I am a FIGHTER, not a loser to make it thus far. Your message also made me realized that I am so much more fortunate now, with almost a non-disruptive lifestyle so I can excel better in work. Now, it’s time I move on to conquer another mountain and I will always keep your advices in check.

Soo leng: I know you have put in a lot of hard work and time to “prepare” for my departure… I didn’t want you to overwork, so I held the photos hostage. Less photos = less work. 用心良苦 you know? Let me achieve my target of 50k before I drop the red bomb on you ok? (wahha.. want to ABR and help me raise funds anot?)

Dee: eh! Having high score on games doesn’t necessarily equate to me being smart! It could be lazy (don’t wanna to work, just wanna play games)! Anyhow, I will 疼疼毛小奇 and play with him whenever I have the time! Die, no one to play “talk to toy” game with me liao. Everyone else think I’m NUTS to talk to my toys. And oh! Oh! X.silly will miss you!!! (even though 你没良心.. dunno today is my last day. Or u self-delusional? Cannot accept I’m leaving issit?!)

And Rachel. Seeing how she was frantically calling me to stay for a while longer, and rummaging another colleague’s desk (for my present) and shouting at someone else to call that colleague at the same time, I just feel so touched. It’s more of the thoughts of it than the actual present that make me feel “funny” at heart. I am seriously touched, especially when I see her crest-fallen face when she found out that the present is not in the office. That’s all I really need, you know? Good friends.

Awwww… I miss the fun bunch already.

Wonder how’s I cope next week when im at the hub.