Why?

5.55am. It’s e 3rd night i’m seated here at e hospital bench. His dad’s blood pressure has dipped further, which is a really bad sign.

I am beginning to ponder things about myself. I spent tonight at the hospital sleeping away. Literally napped the last 5hours or so, but why am i still here? Wouldn’t it be better to just stay home and sleep?

I don’t know. I don’t feel right at home. I’m worried, but when i’m here.. I give in to fatigue and my sick bod and just sleep non stop. Everytime i wake and seeing that there are loads of his friends around keeping him company, i don’t know if i should just head home.

At times, i wish i could just steer clear of e situation but i can’t. Plus e promise i made to his brother that i’ll support him through this trying period. I really want to be here, for him, for his dad. But there are times when i feel that my presence don’t seem to be needed.. And that he’ll pull through even without me…

Don’t ask me why i get e feeling. At e same time.. I’m thinking about someone else..

My.. Why am i so confused now? Have things happened for a reason? Maybe i should just take one step at a time and see how things go. I guess there’s no point in worrying myself silly over what i can’t predict..