It’s been a long while since I have written a random, raw, unplanned post. Thought about it tonight and decided that maybe I should since the kids decided to spare me the agony and went to bed early. Hooray! Especially so on a solo-parenting night.

I, haven’t blogged for a long long while. Since my last blog spot on CIDB, I kinda went dead silent. So much has happened since. 2016 has been rather eventful thus far. It took a sponsored post to break the 2 months silence, but there has been many times that I wanted to write… but just didn’t.

What has been going on since?

The happy moments.

I threw a surprise trip to Macau for the husband for his birthday with the objective of spending some couple time together. Caught him totally off guard. It’s something I wished would happen to me but it will never happen because the husband is the oh-so-practical kind of person. I figured that I’ll get some kind of happiness doing something I wished will happen to me to someone else so I gave him the surprise instead. It was hard planning this kind of surprise with 2 kids in the picture. I had to secretly speak to my mum and in-laws to arrange for babysitting way in advance and making sure they keep mum. I unfortunately also had to break the news 24hrs in advance because of the logistics of the kids and making sure they are settled with their caretakers and giving the husband time to pack because his luggage is in his mum’s place instead.


1 day right after the Macau trip, I jetted off on a solo trip to Korea to meet my girlfriend who is there for a business trip. Checked off another destination on my to-visit list and spent 6 days of adventure doing random meet-ups with friends or just roaming around alone. It turned out to be a lot more fun and I kinda want to go back soon. The key highlight was celebrating my girlfriend’s birthday while she was there, and throwing a surprise on her at midnight while I was snooping around the room and she doing her work.

The snow was an unexpected surprise. I hadn’t expected it to snow.. but it did. On many occasions and across a few days. Beautiful, white sorta bliss. Made it a lot more magical and very thankful that I had friends to share it with.

 

It’s SNOWING!!!! #cherieladiegoesseoul #cherieladietravels #snowing #snowflake #snowflakes #seoul #korea

A photo posted by 💟 Cherie Lim 💟 (@cherieladie) on

In February, the husband and me jetted off for another trip to the USA where we gambled in Las Vegas, walked the trail at Grand Canyon, biked in San Francisco and paddled with dragon boaters in Seattle in the cold winter. I also managed to renew my driver’s licence which was the key reason for the US trip.

I need to blog about the adventures separately because they very much deserve a post on its own, but I never ever seem to have the time. As the husband aptly puts it, “Before you can craft that blog post, you are off to another adventure!”. He is not wrong. To add things to insult, he told me earlier this year that if his friends ever ask what his wife does for a living, he is going to tell them, “my wife is an air stewardess” because I travel every month or even twice a month.  Well, my next trip is actually 39 days away. I am still constantly thinking where I can go next…

The sad moment. 

 

Just days after I returned from my Korea trip, I lost my grandpa. It’s only almost 2 months since he passed on, but it has felt like an eternity already. I wasn’t ready to lose him yet, he looked alright each time I visited and just that morning that he passed on, my aunt said he looks quite good. I was waiting for him to discharge from the hospital but he just stopped breathing suddenly.

Grandpa had a special place in my heart. He was a centurion, and lived a ripe, full life. He taught me many things growing up and I love hearing him tell stories of my mum, aunts and uncles’ growing up years. He made me learn the abacus for $50! Till today, I still remember the chant that goes with it.. 一上一,二上二,三下五取二。。。

Together with grandma, they gave me the opportunity to grow up privileged. They are my school holiday care-takers and I get to frolic amongst rubber trees in the rubber plantations, learn about cutting the bark and reaping the sap in real life as compared to learning them in books. I picked durians, rambutans, chikus and coconuts, check on coffee plants and chop sugarcane to chew on. When it gets too hot, I jump into the riverbed for a swim and catch fishes while at it. On the weekends, I get my chance at business mending a stall in the “pasar malam” (street bazaar) selling fruits alone. I have no freaking idea how I managed but I did. So much memories that I held dear to me.

Since the day my grandpa turned 90 years old, I prepped myself for the day to happen but I still am not ready. I don’t really want him to go. Selfishly, I wanted him to spend more time with my kids, teaching them things he taught me before. Like me, my kids adore him. It pains me each time when they randomly ask “Why lao gong die?” or “Is it we will never see him again?”, or even “I don’t want lao gong to die.” and “I miss lao gong”. Somehow, the kids think about him frequently and has been asking me about him in the past 2 months. Most times, they caught me unaware and my heart just sinks… I can only be thankful that I gave them enough opportunities to interact, but am also silently cursing the Malaysia hospital that doesn’t allow kids to visit. I wished my kids had some moments with him when he was lying on the bed in the hospital and had a chance to say goodbye. They were there, just outside the door, unable to see grandpa because they were kids. I simply don’t understand this rule.

Not that it matters now. The kids, like me, just have to hold on to whatever memories that we have. And live with the fact that he is now gone. On days like today – Sunday, husband away on business trip, solo-parenting, the first thing that I would have thought of was to drive in to Malaysia to spend some time with grandpa. I felt kinda lost today because I no longer have a purpose to drive to grandpa’s house. It is now empty. Thankfully my girlfriends did an impromptu brunch in the morning, and I managed to stay distracted enough. Spent the rest Sunday buried in work and typing away in the office. I still miss grandpa a lot. 🙁

Till I write again.

p.s. for more frequent updates, follow me on Instagram or on Facebook. I am a little more active on those 2 platforms, because it’s so much easier to update.