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it’s three
3 months have passed since the breakup. i didnt deliberately think about it. just happened to look at my calendar and remembered. lunch was spent talking to my colleagues, 3 vs one – me. looks like its time i move on. knowing fully well that no one is willing to put in any effort to salvage the relationship. knowing fully well that i am not willing to be the giver again. looking at how he is ‘shunning’ me to some extent.. am i right to say that i should drop all guilt and seek for my own happiness? it’s been hard knowing so much. it’s been an emotional burden and…
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Moving on..
Seeing you spotting more meaty cheeks and looking more robust, i wonder if it’s a good decision for you that i have decided to move on. On the contrary, i seemed to be looking worse off with terrible skin, horrible sleep habits, irregular meals and a sad outlook. I’m beginning to think i’m a little pathetic. =/ [mobile post on bus @ upper serangoon]
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some thoughts
prior to receiving the gifts, i practically had a sucky day.. ending my meeting at 8pm with loads of undone work and a friend waiting to have dinner with me since 6.45pm. i felt really bad to have belle wait for me for so long. 🙁 i wonder if my life is a joke, and that if it isn’t hard enough, somehow.. i just have to face up to the tough situations and meet with totally unexpected surprises. with vday looming, i was somehow sad that i am gonna be alone this year, and it’s gonna be so far different from the last 7 years to have someone by my…
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a note
i seriously need to sit down and think and sort out my life. i thought i could be managing it well. i am really happier these days, but sometimes, i sit down and i start thinking what could have been and whether i could have done something to change the situation as it is. there were also doubts floating in my mind on whether i am willing to do anything about it and questions like would it be worth it? months have passed. time sure flies. there are many occasions where i think i am doing the correct thing. i am happy and that’s that. but i am not void…
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Disconnected
The network is down in the office. I feel extremely cut off from the world out there. No emails, no internet, no blog, no msn. I can’t even get much work done. Feeling a little outta sorts today even though it started out pretty chirpy. Maybe i really think too much. =| Would i really be happy if i don’t care too much and be happy the way i want to be? Hmmm… Just some rants. It does feel great to be chauffered to work! *smiles* [mobile post @ work desk]
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emotional baggage
even when i seemed to be feeling happy most of the time.. there are times when it hits me hard that i am still carrying a lot of emotional baggage. sometimes, i wonder if striking a person off your life would be a much simpler task. i wonder if keeping contact by replying a simple ok in a sms is hard. sometimes, i feel like an idiot not knowing if there’s someone on the other end. sometimes, i blardy want to know what exactly is going on. i bought a gift for someone. i texted him to ask when he is free so that i can pass it to him.…
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Melancholy
I just saw someone with a back view very much like him. I almost had the urge to stand up and walk over to check it out. Today is chey’s last day in e office. She gave me a card, and i couldn’t bring myself to read pass the 2nd line. My tears just flowed without my command. I’m gonna miss a great friend to cheer me on in e office, make me smile with her sunny dispositions and quirky ways. I’m gonna miss you babe. Really. The office’s gonna be really different without you. On other news update, i’m most likely flying off next week. The reservation’s made, all…
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why like that?
are there times when you had so much to say and so inspired to put in some funny and memorable entry, only to reach home feeling like the air has been sucked out of you and you couldn’t even bring yourself to write out something? i’m feeling like that today. dead. i am wishing that at least some day, i’ll get to hear your voice soon and know you are doing ok…
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Drained
Yesterday was one terribly draining work day. I stepped out of e office at 11pm (thereabout). It’s also a day where i lost my patience on things and almost screamed at one of the girls at the creative agency. I simply cannot fathom why they cannot take simple instructions after briefing them so many times and made me wait 5hours after the stipulated deadline for their work to come in. After all the wait, the work wasn’t what i wanted., but they have gone home and i won’t be able to see the changes until today. My deadline’s 12pm. *screams* Anyway, that’s yesterday. For once in a long long time,…
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photo log
spent the entire day at home. rejuvenating for the body and mind.. except that i did put some thoughts into planning for my work. i found a lot of photos that i took while i was on hiatus. so, i spent the last 2 hours or so, sifting through them and making them into collages.. ready?
